The City by hte Bay #2

The City by hte Bay #2, originally uploaded by mmlips.

This is the 3rd image in my series of images I shot while driving in San Francisco last week. I know it says number two but number one is actually the bridge shot.

Another Must Read

As an ex-evangelical pastor I know first hand the damage often done to persons and church due to misused and/or misdirected authority. Being in the Orthodox life has been like a breath of fresh air in this regard. Being under the care of a Father whose goal is emulate the care and love of the Father of All has been a wonderful, freeing experience as we’ve watched that lived out in the Parish over and over again.

Today Father Gregory Jesen posted a must read regarding Orthodox Church life and authority. More specifically “What doesn’t work”. I just want to say a hearty “Amen”.

http://www.palamas.info/2009/02/what-doesnt-work.html

City by the Bay

City by the Bay, originally uploaded by mmlips.

This is the second shot from my recent trip to San Francisco. My disability makes walking very difficult so every shot I will post was shot from a moving car while driving. Post is NX2 & Silver FX pro

Over the Golden Gate

Over the Golden Gate, originally uploaded by mmlips.

Crossing Bridges has always been a thrill for me, but not in a good way. Heights over water? Comon’! As if it’s not scary enough for me, I decided to see what I could shoot while driving. I like it.

The Hand of God

The Hand of God, originally uploaded by mmlips.

This shot has been in my head since I saw these clouds on the way home for Divine Liturgy several weeks ago. It’s actually a 3 shot panoramic for the clouds and then the hand was obviously added later. You know, I asked God to show me His hand while I was shooting, but he wouldn’t do it. What a shocker.

Imaging is such a blast and can communicate some powerful stuff as well.

What is Worship…

In my many years as a worship leader first in Calvary Chapels then later in the Vineyard movement it was an almost constant struggle amid my fellow leaders and Pastors to define what worship truly is. I confess from the outset that I was never satisfied by any of the modern ways in which worship was expounded or defined. I had my own pet definition that, for me at least, attempted to go into something deeper and more mystical about the Man/God interaction we hoped was taking place, but in the end my own words fell horribly short as well.

Today I read one of the most powerful expositions I have ever read regarding worship. Please head over to the blog of Father Stephen Freeman <here> Read it, and please let it seep deep.

At the Vienyard I had a Pastor/Friend who was in our area meeting which met monthly who used to say: “If it’s old, it’s gold.” My Brother Jim, you were sooooo right!

Grant us Tears

With Christmas just ending and the hangover of consumeritis just beginning to fade, I was struck by this photo which won the UNICEF Photo of the Year award for 2008. This is the way much of our world lives while we live in our mansions and cry over dirty carpets and toilets that need to be replaced. This little girl doesn’t live on the other side of the world in some country ravaged by genocide, she lives just a few hundred miles off our own coast in the worst slum in Hatti (an appropriate name I think) yet in the midst of all that filth manages to wear a spotless white dress with beautiful white ribbons in her hair. Hmm.

I’m not trying to be a Christmas crasher, I would just ask God that this year, he give me tears for the world. That I would be able to see outside my own little kingdom and see into the heart of Christ for all mankind. “…And for all Mankind”: we sing it at every Divine Liturgy.

This is more the type of world Christ was born into then the sterile, friendly, hay filled “barn” we have imagined. This is the world the Father loved so much that he gave his only Son.

God grant me tears this coming year to cry to you for the sake of the world. Christ is Born! Glorify Him! May we all do so this year in every thing and in every way.

Creativity Maxed

You have GOT to watch this. This is one of the single most creative things I have seen in a very long time. This artist created this animation using thousand of single digital stills of his chalk and paint drawings. It’s a bit long, but outstanding. I am fascinated by the thought process that mad this up. I wonder how much was planned and how much was just making up as he went along.

MUTO a wall-painted animation by BLU from blu on Vimeo.

Very Cool.

Animoto.com

Check out this cool service I was turned on to. It’s called Animoto and it automatically creates slide shows from your pics. You can do an unlimited number of 30sec videos or purchase credits to make longer, DVD quality slide shows. They provide the music or you can upload your own. It’s kinda fun. I wouldn’t use it to try to produce anything super long or something I was going to sell, but it’s a cool way to throw something together fast and when your done it will even automatically post it to your blog (just about any host) or YouTube. This one took me all of 5 mins. to do. Not tear producing drama, but it was fun to do.

Another Must Listen

Whether you went to bed last night rejoicing or went to bed weeping, you should really listen to Fr Hopkos last podcast on Church and State. It is so well balanced and such a wonderful perspective. It was recorded pre-election, but is equally – if not more so – as pertinent post-election.

The deeper we delve into Orthodoxy the more I wonder how I could have lived as long as I have lived in the Church, and not have known it was even here. Thank you Lord.

You can find Fr Hopko’s podcast here: <click me>

Go now and listen!

A Must Listen

I just listened to a Podcast that I would highly recommend to anyone who is going through the Life of the Church series Fr. Patrick is doing on Tuesday nights. Or anyone interested in an Orthodox view of tradition and the Bible.  It is an interview by Kevin Allen of the “Illumined Heart” Podcast on AF Radio, with Fr. John Behr, historian, theologian and Dean of St. Vladimir’s seminary. This is a wonderful discussion of the necessity of Tradition, Apostolic Authority, and Scripture in the forming of the Body of Christ. I’ve read a great deal on this subject and I think this is the best and most concise explanation I’ve ever heard. It will give you a whole new perspective as you look at Church History with Fr. Patrick. Go, NOW and listen. It is called “As the Apostles Taught”. GO!

http://audio.ancientfaith.com/illuminedheart/ih_2008-09-13.mp3

Plus Fr. Behr just has one of those cool N.T. Wright english accents! Go!

Ansel Adams via Yosemite

Last night after Vespers several of us were gabbing about the Law’s recent trip to Yosemite. Now, I can never think of Yosemite without thinking about Ansel Adams and when I start flipping through AA’s work I can’t help but reflect on the influence he had on me in my early teens.

My very first “exposure” to Adams’ work -sorry- was via an article written about him I found in an issue of my Father’s Popular Photography Magazine. Up until that time I had only a fleeting interest in photography and mostly paged through my Father’s magazines looking for pictures of pretty, scantily clothed models. Hey, I was 13! Don’t worry I’ll confess it.

When I came upon the article about the then barely known work of Ansel Adams, I can honestly say the process of “taking a picture” would never seem the same to me again. I knew enough about cameras and photography in general to know that the images printed there where not visually accurate to the I scenes as they appeared on the focusing screen of his 8×10 view camera; No shadows could look that black; No naturally sunlit blue skies could appear as dark as night. I knew there was not a camera nor film made that could reproduce the dynamic tonal ranges and richness he captured. Yet there something so real, so genuine about every photo. I almost felt as if I were looking through his eyes at what he had seen in his mind at the moment of capture. And, in fact, I was. I didn’t know photography could do that.

It was this affect on me that drew me into the art. For me it had been about taking great shots of the family on vacation or a girlfriend. So I’m forever grateful to AA for his vision, through books, speaking but most of all though his work.

Here’s a few of my favorite quotes by the man himself.

“You don’t take a photograph, you make it.”

“Photography is more than a medium for factual communication of ideas (events, places or things). It is a creative art.”

“When I’m ready to make a photograph, I think I quite obviously see in my minds eye something that is not literally there in the true meaning of the word. I’m interested in something which is built up from within, rather than just extracted from without.”

“We must remember that a photograph can hold just as much as we put into it, and no one has ever approached the full possibilities of the medium.”

“No man has the right to dictate what other men should perceive, create or produce, but all should be encouraged to reveal themselves, their perceptions and emotions, and to build confidence in the creative spirit.”

“Photography, as a powerful medium of expression and communications, offers an infinite variety of perception, interpretation and execution.”

“The negative is the equivalent of the composer’s score, and the print the performance.”

What Have We Become

Oh sweet spirit of John Wimber; What have we become? Or, perhaps the real question is: What are we becoming? Lord have mercy and may it be so much more then we are today.

My Artist Side

mormon temple - san diego

Every now and then my friends like to have fun with me telling me how artsy-fartsy I apparently am. I readily admit that my head is often off in some other dimension, and it seems, that dimension can only be understood by very few highly intuitive people. Ok, ok, I’m the only one who can understand it: There, you happy Jason?

Anyway, I read many photographers blogs everyday and came across this one I commend to all my artsy-farsty readers – all two of you. It’s a great blog that helped me and my view of my own work and I hope it speaks to the artist in you. I know there’s one in there someplace J.

The blog is by Guy Tal a very gifted photographer known mostly for his landscape work but occasionally venturing outside the walls others seek to build around his work. You’ll find it HERE. Hope you enjoy it.

Peace to all

A Followup Report

A couple posts back I was bemoaning the fact that I spend so little of my usable day given over to God. (See: Really? 6.25%) So I wanted to follow up and report on my attempt at making some changes.

Some background is necessary here: Because Barb and I live in a mobile home, we can be a bit pressed for space. When we got married the family room that was located directly south of the kitchen was turned into a bedroom and is currently my office from which I run my business. That made a two bedroom coach into a three. As the kids got older and Caleb and Jen needed separate rooms we closed off the dining room north of the kitchen into another bedroom. That gave us plenty of rooms, but left us with no place to have a table to sit down to eat, so it just became our routine that I would prepare dinner and everyone would eat as they became hungry and wherever they wanted to grab a spot. So about the only time we get to eat all together is if we go out to share a meal as a family. Not my favorite solution but it’s what we have.

The upshot is that Barb and I usually end up eating our meal sitting on our huge California King bed watching the news or some other mind numbing programing. So, as part of operation “God TIme” (just made that up) I decided to shut off the TV at least between the hours of 6-7 and devote that time to spiritual reading, either scripture or as Barb and I are currently doing together, reading some Fr. P. suggested catechuminate material. It has been really wonderful and the quiet has made me realize how much we leave the TV on just to fill in the void. We are so NOT comfortable with silence as a culture. It’s like we need the incessant droning of the voices, laughter tracks  and car commercials set to classic rock tunes to remind us we are not alone. Funny, but it is in the silence we avoid so eagerly that learn we are truly NOT alone.

So that’s it, it’s just a start, but it is a start. Change comes only with much effort and the amazing grace of God. As a culture we have become addicted to entertainment. We seem to need the constant sounds of what our culture wants us to believe is real life. But the one who is real life needs our attention to speak that life into us. It’s hard to fill a soul that is brim full already.

Now if you’ll excuse me I’m off to see the new Batman movie with my wife. I know, ironic isn’t it?

Patron Saints

Wow, being a life long Nikon camera devotee, imagine my excitment when I found out there was actually a Saint Nikon from Greece. I just might have to change my Patron Saint. Just kidding Fr Patrick.

Where in the world is Markie San Dimas?

Just had to give the new iPhone WordPress app a spin.

Really? 6.25%?

“Now is the time.” I heard Father Patrick speak those words during a homily over 5 months ago and I knew in an instant, in the blink of an eye, they had been said by the Spirit and I knew I was one to whom they were directed. I don’t mean that Father intentionally spoke those words to me directly that morning, I just knew in the deepest place in my heart that he might as well have.

Last night Father was over to our house to meet with Barb and I for our normal Tuesday night Catechumen sessions. Being that it his first visit to our home, he walked around the living room taking in the various photos we have of family hanging about and remarked how quickly time goes by; “It’s a vapor” Father said. Then sitting down close to me and looking right into my heart he said in the most serious of tones once more “…so now is the time, now is the time!” And just as those words had hit the center of my being some five months earlier, so they did again, and so the question remains: how will I respond this time?

There is no doubt in my mind that I took the first utterance of that phase very seriously. In fact I made some difficult, real changes to several aspects of my life that were completely out of control, and by God’s grace and mercy have seen wonderful, fresh glimpses of the life of Christ being formed in my core. But I also know that God wants to give me so much more of himself. His life laid down for mine so that I might lay down mine and gain His.

Father gave us more then a few recommendations last night regarding some things he suggested we should read and also some things we could do to prepare ourselves for our first confessions as Catechumen. Honestly, at first, I was slightly overwhelmed, internally searching through my regularly scheduled life in search of an extra minute or two in which to add the additional activities. But it was echoing in me: “NOW is the time!”

So this morning I did a quick little estimate of the time I actually have available and the time I intentionally give to God. Presently, not counting those days I spend in worship with the Church, Saturday night and Sunday Morning, I manage to give to God approximately 10 minutes in the morning for prayer and then about 5 minutes at the end of each day in examine of my day before praying Psalm 50 (that’s 51 to all you evangelicals out there) and closing my eyes. Now I’m not saying that I don’t consider or ponder the things of the Spirit at other times, I do, I’m just talking about time I set aside ALMOST everyday. That’s out of a 24 hr period.

Now I can hear some of you saying, yeah but you sleep for 6-8 hours of that. Ok, I’ll give you that, so now I’m down to 15 minutes out of a 16 hr period. I feel way better. Some might argue, wait, surely you can’t count the time you’re at work. We obviously need to work and often our minds are so occupied between the hours of 9-5-well surely I can’t count that time? Ok, I’ll give you that one as well so now I’m down to what I do with my eight remaining waking, non working hours. Wow, now I’m almost off scott-free. In fact I might just be a spiritual giant!

6.25% of my 8 hours are set apart for God. I’m actually surprised that it’s that high, but I did ask my CPA wife and she gave me that number. I’m not trying to beat up on myself or saying that number needs to 10% or 50% or whatever! The number isn’t the important thing, it’s my heart and I’m just saying that I’m hearing the still small voice again, and it’s not in the thunder, the earthquake or the wind. No, it’s meek and soft, almost a whisper; “Now is the time.”

The bottom line is that I make plenty of time for those things I really love; My Macs, my Nikon, my TV shows, my photography books and magazines. God wants to give me so much more, but it seems that I’m already so full of everything else. Lord have mercy on me. Help me to love you at least as much as these other things, at least that would be a start. “Now is the time.”

Yeah!

Woo Hoo! No I’m not a happy Wamu customer; I just sold my first photographic print. Someone actually wanted a print from my gallery. Ok, ok, so it was my Niece Kelly. Hey, a sale is a sale is a sale. Yes, yes, yes that’s right I did only sell it for the cost of postage, but quit bringing me down! Someone actually wanted one of my prints. It was so cool to see an 11×14 color masterpiece roll off my Epson 1800 and know it’s going to be on a wall not in my house. So woo hoo! Turns out Bonkers-oh sorry, I’ve called her Kelly Bonkers since she was a baby-turns out she loves architecture and wanted a shot I did called “Building Study“. You can click on that if you want to see it.

So that’s it, no deep thoughts for the day, no rants or raves, just a thank you to Kelly, oh and to my wife as well for putting up with my incessant dreaming. I promise, once I’ve made it to the top, I won’t forget all the little people I had to step on to get there.

The Question

Yesterday was Pentecost, Father’s Day, and a wonderful and unique day for Barb and I as well. Yesterday we were officially accepted as Catechumen at St. Peters Orthodox Church. Just today Debbie Z. posted a cool blog about what it was like from her perspective and I don’t want to simply revisit the occasion, what I really want to do in this post is write about the why and how.

First let me just say how incredibly grateful I am to our great God for bringing us to this point. When I look back at several of my posts from even a few months ago, I would have never believed we’d be where we are today. In fact as recently as my post of March 3rd this year I wrote about the dark place I had been in for the last year or so. I wrote of how God had challenged me in Father Patrick’s Homily of Forgiveness Sunday; Now was the time, Father Patrick said over and over, and oh my was it ever.

When I first approached Orthodoxy I came with so many questions and so many self-made objections that needed to be addressed. But in very typical “God fashion”–at least for me–He did not address them in any way I would have typically looked for them to be addressed. Give me a book to read, an authority to question! I’d spend so many nights locked in a struggle with myself, in my mind, running through every possible scriptural objection I could find, waiting for the next encounter with that “authority” so that I could stump them and send them crying home to the monastery!

Funny, those objections now seem so unimportant.

When Barb, who was completely resistant to Orthodoxy from the beginning, began to soften her heart to God and stepped out and began to follow me to St, Peters, I actually found myself afraid of going forward. I knew my wife was a person who, once she feels something was right to do, would run after it with everything she had–and she has. (See my post “what have you done with my wife?”) When she decided that God was calling her forward and that the time to change her heart had come, I began to realize that our becoming Orthodox might actually become a reality. All my objections, questions and fears of my families interrogations suddenly became overwhelming to me and I felt like doing what I have so often done before: that’s right, the ole’ cut and run. But then over the course of a many days, very gently and almost imperceptibly, a question began to take shape in my mind that made all the difference and finally dispersed all my remaining objections. The question? Simply this: If not here, then where? If not now, then when?

I found myself feeling very much like the Apostles when our Lord asked them if they would desert him as so many others were doing after he spoke pointedly of drinking his blood and eating his flesh. Do you remember their answer? “Where else can we go, you have the words of life?” It seemed I was at an impasse. What could I do? Where could I go? When would I finally decided to lay it all on the line as I had challenged so many others to do before me. Since my early twenties I have sought and longed for the Church of the New Testament. I have hungered after a church life that would hold me accountable to those with whom I was in communion. I think I rightly saw many years ago that a call to the Person and therefore Body of Christ was not a call to individuality but a call to lay down one’s life for the sake of his friends. I knew in my heart that when St. Paul said, “when one member suffers all members suffer” was not just a pretty platitude for a refrigerator magnet. Paul did not say “We SHOULD suffer, he said we DO!” No, it meant that for the Body to function properly ALL members are needed and my weakness did not simply effect me as an individual, but it effected all those with whom I was in communion. Now here I stood amidst a people who believe that too, and I was scared. I have longed for a Father figure to whom I could confess the deepest darkness of my heart, but now that the figure stood before me in flesh and blood, I could touch him and see him. I was afraid.

If not here, then where? If not now, then when?

I think we sometimes read the scripture I just mentioned and think that the apostles declaration meant they believed in Jesus without question or doubt. Had everything suddenly come into focus for them? A cursory reading of the story as it follows shows they were far from it, but this one thing they “knew”–He had the “words of life”, and so they followed. Do I still have questions? Yup, sure do. But if not here, then where? If not now, then when?

Lord Jesus Christ Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner. Bring me to your table and let me feast upon you. Your life for my life. The knowledge of YOU for my questions. Praise be to the Eternal Father, Son and Holy Spirit, may we never be the same! Amen

And thank you to my Son David who so kindly walked with me through it all and to Rico Monge to whom I owe a huge apology for the way I assailed him and his character. May God be forever glorified in my weaknesses.